Title: It wasn’t easy to accept
Pairing: HENWOOK with slight QMi, yewook, KyuWook, KRY
Genre: Romance, angst, friendship
Rating: PG – 13
Summary: When Henry and Zhou Mi came to SJ’s Life, they weren’t easily accepted.
Warning: SJ-15 fic..
A/N: so my Flashdrive got corrupted and I lost my thesis draft and all my fanfics T_T so here I am writing something very random again~~ this is about the start of HenWook (and maybe QMi) that didn’t really start with a happy story.
Let’s face it.. it wasn’t easy accepting changes in our life: when we suddenly need to change schools after spending your whole childhood with your old school, when we suddenly meet a new neighbor your mom wanted you to befriend, when you need to mature coz you turned 18.. changes.. they are inevitable but we are not fully prepared for things to come.
It’s in this sense that I am writing this story about two members of a super group who conquered the music scene with their numbers and talents; not to mention good looks too.
Who would forget Henry Lau? That precious Canadian who seemed to cute and talented for his own good. Let me
ask you a few things… did you like him at the start? Are you one of those who shouted SJ13 when you saw him? did you accept him as part of the Super Junior family?
Apparently I may get varied answers from you.. though I’m pretty sure those who will read a story about Henry
and Ryeowook would be someone who loves and accepts Henry.. but moving on.. let me share to you a story about how HenWook started.. how it all began.. and what it is now.
You see, Ryeowook.. he’s one jealous maknae. He really didn’t like Kyuhyun as the maknae because he lost the privilege of being one. But Ryeowook is not a bad person, he is just insecure of himself. You see Ryeowook is not your typical idol that exudes confidence; Ryeowook is a little kid inside who needs a loving hand to guide him. Ryeowook is a talented guy.. he has a voice that made him one of the top singers in SUJU, of course we all know that Yesung and Kyu joined him, and he has amazing composing skills that even leader Teuk admitted defeat. But he is not a dancer.. not a good one.. he thinks he lacks skills in dancing, but we all know that SUJU is a singing dancing group and their dances aren’t easy, so Ryeowook.. you are a great dancer, may not be the best or the king of dance.. but in Ryeosomnias’ hearts.. you are a great one.
Ryeowook.. he is the umma figure of the group and he wants to take care of everyone and cook for them.. he is that much of an affection seeker. But you see, growing up with no siblings, he longed and wished for brothers growing up, and now he has more to handle as 11 hyungs and a saeng were now under his care. He love Super Junior cause this is his family, he treasures each and every member because he love them genuinely.
But did you know he was a SJ13 supporter back then? Did you know how much he hated the fact that there’ll be another member or 2 to be added to the already large family? Did you know that he hated Henry so much the poor Canadian avoided him for eternity?
Let me tell you about it.. Let me share this for you to know.. maybe by the end of this we’ll all learn to accept changes; even though it isn’t easy.
Back in 2006, when Kyuhyun was now an official member of Super Junior, Henry Lau was accepted into the company as a trainee. He is very nervous as he is a foreigner in this peninsula where people speak a different language and one that he can’t understand. Henry was introduced to Super Junior and poor Canadian was surprised with the reception: he was hugged and butt slapped and so much skin ship happened, he thought his hyungs were gay. Though the members were excited about Henry and his talent which is a real asset, one of them isn’t.
Ryeowook.. he just doesn’t want Henry to be in Super Junior.. his mind screams SJ13 though he still smiled at the Canadian lad. Henry, he was attracted to the warm smile Ryeowook has.. and he thought he could be safe around a hyung who has such warm personality. Donghae tried to talk to him in his best English and apparently.. Henry understood most of it. So Henry always tried to be with Ryeowook, he viewed the hyung so much as an idol and a mentor that he wanted to be wherever Ryeowook was. This is not really good for Ryeowook because the more he sees Henry, the more he wanted to scream SJ13. Yes.. SJ13.. but what can he do but take care of the maknae.. and yes the maknae. This irritated Ryeowook even more, He was reluctant enough to fight over that position with Kyuhyun, the night before the accident, and now, another maknae appears? Yeah right Ryeowook was so pissed off, but he didn’t share it with the others.
Everyone noticed how the two were often together and this made the manager hyung suggest a new strategy to divert all the SJ13 issue and put it to rest. Henry was going to be in a subgroup of Super Junior. So when Manger hyung was picking out the members, he chose Ryeowook and Henry as to be the first 2 members, and he chose Hangeng to be the leader. Henry was very happy to be part of a subgroup, moreover be with his beloved Ryeowook Hyung and also Donghae hyung plus his Mimi gege and Hangeng gege, guess what, Ryeowook wasn’t.
So everyone was shipping couples by now and Ryeowook, he is very happy with his YeWook and KyuWook, so being with a new subgroup means that.. he will leave YeWook and focus on Kyuwook. But that was not going to happen.. for as we all now, Ryeowook was placed at the far end of the group next to Henry; Henry was happy, Ryeowook wasn’t.
“they are going to put me in there and ship henwook? For what? For people to accept Henry?”
Ryeowook shouted inside his room as Yesung pet his turtle and Kyuhyun playing on his laptop.
“Ryeowook, relax.. it isn’t that much of a big deal..”
Yesung muttered as he places Ddangkoma down on its cage.
“relax? Why is kyuhyun placed with Zhou Mi at the other end? Why would they want a cheap imitation of KyuMin? KyuMi? How cheap could that get? Why don’t they just ship ZhouRy instead!”
Kyuhyun heavily sighs and stopped playing for a while and diverted his attention at the fuming Ryeowook.
“Hyung, do you know Chinese that well?”
Kyuhyun asked and Ryeowook shook his head.
“you see, Henry and Zhou Mi knows Chinese so that’s why they were separated. They are needed by the other members to help the group understand, so that we can all communicate with every Chinese ELF. And don’t badmouth Mimi and Henry.. MiMi isn’t cheap and isn’t trying to replace Minnie Hyung.. aren’t you and Henry close?”
“I HATE SEEING HIM OK!! HE IS TOO CLINGY LIKE HE’S MY BOYFRIEND OR WHAT AND I HATE IT!!”
Kyuhyun sighed again before returning to his game. There they were silent as Ryeowook releases his anger on the poor pillow as Yesung tries to stop the eternal maknae. Since the three were already busy with their respective works, they were completely oblivious to the sobs outside the door. Apparently, Henry was going to share his chocolates to the hyungs when he heard Ryeowook mutter those words. He thought Ryeowook was real and kind but he was wrong. He thought Ryeowook was there for him and he cared for him, guess he was not. And so Henry went out of the dorm with his chocolates at one hand and the violin at the other hand. He ran to the fire exit and sat on one of the steps. He took out the violin as he play a mournful melody, tears flowed down his small eyes. He thought he found a family, guess he was wrong.
It wasn’t easy to pretend you know nothing and so Henry decided this for himself, he’ll just avoid Ryeowook at all cost. Recording for SJM started and as much as possible, he would practice his lines on an empty room avoiding every member and tries to understand whatever given to him, without depending on his hyungs. When it wasn’t avoidable, he would go and sit by Zhou Mi in silnce and would just stare blankly at the wall infront of him. when they were in their training sessions, he would ask Zhou Mi if he could stand next to him instead of his place beside Ryeowook, the taller gege would nod and let the Canadian stand beside him, feeling that Henry must have felt the pressure of SJ13 that he was really afraid to join Super Junior. Everyone thought that Henry’s attitude change was from the SJ13 campaign, but no one knew why he was like that. He would lock himself in one of the rooms and play violin as he cries. He wishes to return to his family back in Canada, where life was simple and quiet. He wished for none of this to have happened..
During dinners, Henry did not join the hyungs, and would settle for a lone corner in the company cafeteria. He would eat all alone and Super Junior Members started to feel sorry for the poor kid, Kyuhyun was most especially hurt, a few months ago, he was just like Henry.
Henry was starring at his food one day, when Ryeowook asked if the seat beside him was taken. Upon seeing Ryeowook, with that familiar smile, Henry can’t fight the pain creeping in his heart, his hyung.. this hyung whom he thought was his true brother, was the first one to hate him.
“uhmm.. I’m done eating.. you may have it.”
Henry muttered and bowed low before taking his stuff and walked away. Ryeowook wasn’t sure how to feel: he was hurt because of the action, or because Henry was avoiding him.
Once they met on a corridor and Ryeowook wanted to ask Henry about pronunciations, Henry told him that Hangeng gege was in the studio and excused himself. Then there was a time when Zhou mi asked Henry to find Ryeowook for his recording, Henry asked his Donghae hyung instead. Henry didn’t like avoiding Ryeowook, but he feels so hurt and he doesn’t want Ryeowook to feel so mad every time he sees Henry: this is the only option.
Changes.. it isn’t easy.. but for Henry.. better this than stay with the status quo. It’ll hurt less than to pretend to be part of a family that doesn’t want him.
One day, Henry was practicing.. his dance.. his singing and his violin. HE was asked by Donghae to take a break and eat first, but he just shook his head and muttered that he’ll follow after his practice. That was lunch time and now it’s past midnight. Henry busied himself and tried to drown all the pain in his heart by making himself exhausted and numb, he won’t feel anything now. And so he collapsed on the floor, tired and sweaty, fingers calloused and legs numb. There he was lying so peacefully he thought it was the most enchanting silence in his lifetime, there were no screams or SJ13 chants, no hyungs to pretend that cares.. no one to see him suffer.. no one but him and his reflection.
Ryeowook, who was also practicing late passed by the dance studio and saw Henry passed out on the floor. Although he was the first one to support SJ13, now he felt it wasn’t right anymore. During these months of preparation for SJM, he have seen Henry as not someone to hate, but a talent to nurture. So he woke up the sleeping maknae and handed him a pack of cookies and smiled back at him.
“you’re overworking yourself Henry.. you should take a rest once in a while”
Henry bowed his head and took a bite of the cookie and forced himself not to cry. As he was eating the cookie, Ryeowook noticed the cuts on Henry’s hand and took pity of him. He grabbed Henry’s hands to check the extent of the wounds.
“Henry.. why are you hurting yourself.. look at these calluses and cuts.. “
Henry withdrew his hands and stood up. He then bowed low and thanked Ryeowook.
He then walked away.
“why are you avoiding me?”
Ryeowook muttered as Henry took a step. Henry didn’t answer and continued to take another step.
“Henry.. I’m not insensitive.. you are avoiding me at all cost.. why don’t you speak up if you have a problem with me so that we can fix it!”
Ryeowook shouted and Henry turned to face him, his eyes filled with tears.
“I’m avoiding you because you hate me right Hyung? I’m keeping my distance so as not to ruin your mood. I know that you don’t like the idea of having me as part of Super Junior. I accept your decision so I tried my best not to trouble anyone. I don’t want to ruin any pairing. Or OTP if that’s what you call it. I don’t want to use you to be accepted. If I can quit right now, I’ve done it so as not to cause any more trouble. If I could wind back time, I won’t join the audition in Toronto.”
Ryeowook was surprised about this, how can Henry know he hated him then?
“Hyung.. I thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I thank you for giving me your smile. I treasure each time you cared for me. But I know it’s hard to smile a genuine smile if you hate the person you’re giving your smile to.. Hyung.. I don’t want you to pretend to like me.. I don’t want to see you smile at me anymore, cause I know that deep inside you hate me that much. Hyung.. I don’t want to be the reason why you feel bad inside.”
Henry then turned his back and got his stuff. Before leaving the room, he bowed low at Ryeowook and said his goodbye. Ryeowook was speechless, he didn’t know how much damage he caused, how much he hurt the innocent mochi. He didn’t know Henry has such burden in his heart. Ryeowook took his things and went out of the room. He was going to bard his car when he saw Henry standing alone in the deserted street, witing for the bus to ride back home. Ryeowook squints as he tries to see Henry clearly. It was a cold night and Ryeowook can see Henry slightly shiver as he held on to his violin case.
“There’s no more bus tonight.. come I’ll drive you home.”
Henry was surprised when Ryeowook parked in front of him and asked him to ride the car.
“it’s ok hyung.. I don’t want to trouble you.. there’s still the last tip.. it’ll come in the next 5 minutes..”
Henry replied and smiled. Somehow, Ryeowook was hurt with that smile.. it hides so much pain that Ryeowook hated himself for hating Henry.
“it’s an order from a hyung Henry.. get in the car.”
Ryeowook demanded but Henry shook his head.
“please hyung. If you care even for just a little.. just let me be.. “
Ryeowook’s mouth hang open as he digest Henry’s reply. A bus stopped in front and Henry got on. Ryeowook sat on the driver’s seat and started to cry. How can he hurt such a fragile kid? How could he be the reason why Henry was hurting now? Ryeowook drove fast and waited in the dorm lobby for Henry’s return, he wanted to clear things up.. he wanted Henry to feel better. Ryeowook waited for two hours before Henry stepped inside the lobby. Ryeowook smiled as he saw him and hugged the younger so tight Henry was caught in surprise. Ryeowook then dragged him inside the elevator and pushed the button. They were silent as they ride the elevator up to their dorm. The dorm was now silent as the members sleep soundly. Ryeowook made Henry sit on one of the dining room chairs as he prepared dinner for them.
“hyung this isn’t necessary. I’m going to bed now.. you take care.”
Henry muttered as he stood up.
“Henry.. we’re going to sort things out once and for all! So sit down and keep quiet!”
Ryeowook replied as he continued to cook. Henry sat in silence as he watches Ryeowook prepares dinner for them. Since there wasn’t much time, He just fixed some bibimbap.
“here Henry.. It’s not that much.. but we can share this.”
Henry looked at his hyung who was blushing, feeling embarrassed at his own cooking.
“it’s really unnecessary hyung..”
“shut up and eat Henry lau!”
Ryeowook muttered as he handed him a spoon. Henry reluctantly took a bite of the bibimbap and Ryeowook anxiously waited for his reaction.
“do you hate it?”
Ryeowook asked as Henry chewed the food in silence. Then Henry choked on the food, Ryeowook handed him water.
“does it taste bad?”
Ryeowook worriedly asked. Henry was all scarlet red and coughing but he forced himself to smile.
“hyung it’s ok..”
“it’s true.. I just can’t tolerate spicy foods..”
“oh.. I forgot..”
Ryeowook sulked as he stares at the bibimbap on the bowl in front of him. Henry, seeing his hyung depressed couldn’t stand it so he took the spoon and started eating the bibimbap slowly.
“Henry.. don’t force yourself..”
“I’m not.. I have to learn to live with Korean culture.. starting with the food.”
Ryeowook smiled at this precious kid, how could he hate him?
“Henry.. I’m sorry..”
Ryeowook muttered and Henry stopped eating the bibimbap.
“hyung.. it’s ok..”
“No it’s not.. I’m such a bad hyung.. I hurt you so much.. I’m sorry..”
“it’s ok hyung..”
Ryeowook smiled through the tears and Henry saw that this time it was full of endearment. They had a long talk about a lot of stuff and Henry finally felt that Ryeowook was indeed his true brother. He felt a revived hope to be part of a great family.
After that incident, things changed and Henry was close to Ryeowook again. They were seen together practicing their lines and mandarin. They were helping each other practice dance, since Ryeowook feels that he wasn’t even that close to satisfactory at dancing. They would practice together, Ryeowook would watch as Henry play the violin so passionately.
So that was how HenWook started.. It wasn’t easy but at least they are an OTP now. The manger hyung was absolutely right having HEnWook, for now, Henry was partly accepted, Ryeowook was happy about it.. he thought to himself, if he wanted ELFs to accept Henry as part of the Super Junior Family, he must start with himself.
HenWook.. it’s an adorable pair.. though Henry was always introduced as SJM’s maknae, Ryeowook doesn’t mind, he is the eternal maknae anyway. Henry and Ryeowook would always do things together like tell jokes and do random back hugs. Then they would whisper into each other’s ears that HenWook shippers would just die spazzing about.
So I would end this story this way.. I know how hard it is for us to accept changes… it isn’t always easy.. but at the end, wouldn’t you want to accept something and make everything a whole lot better? If Super Junior can accept Henry and Zhou mi as part of their Family, why can’t we? It wasn’t easy.. but they managed.. I know we can do the same too.
So sorry for the angsty fic T_T I’m feeling really depressed right now about certain things so I needed something to vent it out.. I cried while writing this fic and somehow it made me feel better.
I am a SJ15 supporter, everyone is family.. I just remembered SS3 Manila where Henry translated for Teukie.. and Henry’s heartfelt thanks for accepting him.. I wish everyone can do so.. and make Henry and Zhou Mi feel that they are loved and accepted as part of Super Junior Family~~